okay pat passed out under dana's car
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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