Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
