he wants to bone in the snuggie
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
