If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
