Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i think im in europe. pls send help
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
