awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
