So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
