So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
