I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
