The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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