so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
