if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
