I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
