I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
