i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
