I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
