the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
so much tequila, so little girl.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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