I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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