that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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