then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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