I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
