I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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