i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
