So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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