How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
