He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
