when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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