i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
