and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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