This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
