Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
