Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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