I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
