awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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