I CAN MOONWALK!
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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