stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
