it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Why is your signature on my underwear?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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