i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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