He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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