so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
