Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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