i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
