This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize