I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
