we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I would fuck him just for his dog
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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