So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
