A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Semen is not good for contacts.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
