i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
