i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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