My Higher Power is John Stamos
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
