i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
