PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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