5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
