She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Are my feet made of real feet?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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