apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
