spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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