1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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