Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
