And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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