i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Will exercising make me less horny?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
