Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Randomize
