I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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