you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
