the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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