he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
