there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
