can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
